This post comes off the heels of my own disappointment that I experienced last week. Most of you who have been following along know that I have been studying and working towards getting licensing and certified in a new career field. I started this journey back in June of 2023.
Passed the first of four exams in August of 2023. It took me three attempts to pass the second exam (finally got a passing score in January 2024). Studied for a little more than 5 weeks for the third exam, which I took last Friday and failed.
Like, Big FAT FAIL.
I don't even want to kid you. I drove home and I smiled at Bill as he asked how everything went. I admitted the failure. He encouraged me. All great things.
However, I can't help but wonder and ask myself the following questions:
"Should I be doing this?"
"Did I make the right decision?"
"Should I just go back to family law?"
"Everyone else seems to be able to pass these exams...why can't I? Why is it so hard for me?"
I have probably gone back and forth this last weekend asking myself these questions over and over again. I am no closer to an "answer" than when I first started asking those questions last week (really, since I started this whole thing).
I just have to, somehow, keep getting up again and trying. Maybe even really evaluating some things.
Maybe even make some changes. Maybe even admit that maybe, just maybe, I wrong and go in a different direction more suitable for what I want and where I want to be and what I desire to do.
So, when doubt creeps in, how to we navigate our way throught it?
Truth is, just because something is challenging and takes a long time to get to does not mean it was the wrong decision. We also know that just because something is easy to do and requires very little time and effort, it doesn't mean it is the right choice. There are quite a few opportunities out there for me that I could literally choose and abandon the course I am currently on. Sure, it might provide an immediate result (more income, attention, stability, less frustration), but it may actually cost me more than I want to give (time freedom, flexibilty, etc). Every action has a reaction. Every choice has both a postive and negative consequence.
As we are out here building the lives we dream of, we aren't getting out of here unscathed. We will experience countless moments of disappointment, doubt, fear, frustration, highs, lows, goodness, joy, laughter, hysterics........you name it, you will experience them all.
So, how do you navigate through doubt?
You decide to get up. Every day.
You will write out and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.
You will talk to those you trust. Those who are in your corner who will talk you off the ledge.
Did I mention that I am also planning a wedding while studying for these ridiculously hard exams? I am also a mama. I feel like I am back in school, only this time, I am 42 and still have to parent and be present for all of my other responsibilities. I have help from Bill. He has been absolutely wonderful. But it is incredibly taxing and emotionally draining. I have a lot on my shoulders and I feel an intense amount of pressure right now.
I texted my girls in (who are also in my bridal party) and I told them I want to quit. Ha! I was over it.
Their words of encouragement, empathy and even tips on how to work through this season was what I needed in that moment.
So, if you don't have your squad, gather them up. Be selective. Choose the women who want you to win.
You are going to continue asking the questions. Remember when I wrote about goal setting and that part of building your vision was going back and reevaluating what is and isn't working? When doubt creeps in, it is okay to sit through it and ask some questions. Go deep. Be honest.
If reviewing and assessing your goals leads you to the conclusion that you need to go in a different direction, or that what you thought you wanted isn't what you wanted at all, then be confident in that decision.
This. Is. Your. Life. These are your dreams.
Every opportunity we take isn't going to lead to homeruns. We aren't always going to get it right. That is okay. Doubt and fear are natural progressions throughout our life building and goal setting journey. Think about the pioneers, the leaders, the world changers you admire. You think they never experienced doubt and crushing defeat?
You aren't getting out of this without a few bumps and bruises. But no worries, those scars make you tough. They help you grow. They are transformative, if you allow it.
So for my fellow buildhers who are experiencing some doubt and frustration right now, you got this. I am rooting for you.
Keep going.
Your DBB (Dream Buildher Bestie),
Tiffany Rhea
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