Welcome to a new series that I am extremely passionate about. As a woman over 40 (will be turning 43 this coming August), and having gone through a divorce and have spent the last few years learning more about finance, investing, saving, rebuilding, and starting a business......this has me very, very excited!
I recognize that there are a ton of advice for women on how to make money and save money. Thanks to social media, we ladies are far more saavy than our male counterparts when it comes to online businesses and marketing. My goal is not to simply regurgitate the same advice. The next few blog posts in this series (which I am thinking will post once a month), will be specifically geared toward women who are 40 and over and are going through or have gone through a divorce.
To my fellow over 40 and fabulous gals, you are not alone and this is not the end of your life. I am sure it feels like it at times. But honey, you are amazing. You got this and I got you!
I am going to hit hard at you right now right off the gate because I think it is important for you to understand something.
This will not be the place where you can whine and complain about what is happening to you. You are not a victim, even if awful things are happening to you. You won't get legal advice here (please contact your family law attorney for specific issues pertaining to your case). We also will not bash our exes (as hard as that may be at times. Trust me. I know).
The whole point of this series is to empower you as you drive off into your new life. That means, you need to get real with money. Become besties and make it work for you, not the other way around. For most women who are going through a divorce, and they are between the ages of 35 and up, the financial impact can be devastating. We're talking women's finances dip by 41% kind of devastating. And your credit score. Lord have mercy. The reality is, and we have to acknowledge this reality, many women take career breaks in order to raise a family. There is no shame in that. I was a stay at home mom for eight years. I will never regret that time with my babies during those eight years. If you and your partner can do it, and you both agree to it, and you WANT to do it, then please.....do so.
Then I went back to work full time (at $11/hr!) at a small family law firm in California. Grateful for the work, but let's be real. That didn't pay for a whole lot. Then, came the separation in February 2019, subsequent filing of divorce in October 2019, with my ex not working, and my pay increasing to $13, then $15/hr, still solely responsible for paying for everything. I couldn't even afford an attorney at the law firm I worked at.
Ha! The snort I am snorting right now!
I had to get real familiar with checking my bank account regularly. Relearn how to budget according to the income that I currently had, as well as make a plan to increase that income. Build my empower fund, look in to ways to rebuild my credit (that was in the toilet) among other financial decisions I had to learn to make on my own.
No longer could I defer to the man of the house or request his help. I had my autonomy back and I am a grown woman and I am smart. So are you. You are smart. Capable. The internet is exploding with ways you can rebuild your life financially.
Over the course of this topic series, I will share with you my own personal journey, as well as ways you can help your wallet and your future.
Topics like:
Retirement
Generosity/Giving back
Family dynamics and money
Investing
Saving (let's build that Empower Fund, babe!)
Lifestyle
Health/wellness
Business/ways for you to earn additional income
Financial impact and dating after divorce
It is gonna be good and I can't wait.
See you soon!
Your DBB (Dream Buildher Bestie),
Tiffany Rhea
P.S. Some of you who may find this may not yet be in your 40's, but you are going through a divorce. You are still welcome here. Divorce sucks and I am so sorry that you are going through this, even if it was necessary. Rooting you on as well, and many of the ideas I will share can still be used by any woman of any age and background. Just slightly taylor them to where you personally are at. You got this!
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